“Why can’t I just stick with my plan and ‘stay on track’?”
“Why does everyone else seem to be able to do this, but I can’t?”
I’m guessing you’ve asked these questions or some version of them AT LEAST once and likely way more!
In my experience as a health coach over the past 9 years, I’ve frequently worked with people who have serious concerns and fears about constantly feeling they’re “off track,” they’ve “fallen off the wagon,” or they’re “back at square one” and starting over.
I could write extensively about this, but want to hit some general points today. If you’re interested in going deeper into the details that follow, leave me a comment below and let me know.
One of the very first things I want to say is…
IT’S A JOURNEY!
The destination is NOT final (until we die, of course).
You may take one path on your journey and decide it’s not enjoyable.
You may take another path and find it’s really uncomfortable.
Yet another path may lead to great joy.
Other paths will help you uncover more questions, exploration, and discovery.
Some paths may end abruptly while others make you feel you could meander on them forever.
Each path is there for you to experiment, gain new experiences, learn, grow, and evolve.
Please know you are NEVER starting at square one.
Each path you take and every experience you have teaches you something – or at least has the opportunity to, as long as you remain open to it. I can think of times in my past where I didn’t know why I was going through something, but later on I realized how that experience helped with something else…I could finally see a purpose. Trust the process, friends! (I know, I know…it IS easier said than done…but work on trusting!)
Because of what you take from each experience, there’s no way you can start back at square one. Maybe you’ve stepped laterally, but I, personally, don’t believe you can go backward.
If you find yourself struggling with the same goals and habits over and over, here are five things to consider…
1- Review your goals and your priorities.
Is this goal you’re “chasing” still something you actually want? How important is it to you in terms of the other dreams you have? Does this goal still have high priority for you?
2- Decide what REALLY matters.
Is this goal the best way to achieve what really matters to you? Is there another goal that may serve you better? What is going to help you achieve what matters most to you?
3- Know your WHY!
I’m sure you’ve heard this several times. I spend some time on this in my course too! That’s because it’s THAT important! Knowing not only WHAT you want, but WHY you want it, too, is paramount! THIS is what will keep you going even when it’s HARD! Make sure your WHY is powerful and it really draws out a lot of emotion from you!
4- Release the guilt, shame + fear.
I bet you’ve already gone down the guilt and shame spiral if you feel like you haven’t done what you wanted to do! I also bet you have big fears about trying again and possibly “failing” (a word I don’t really believe in) again. NONE of these are going to move you closer to what you want. Choose love instead and be kind to yourself.
5- Focus on what you want.
Stop focusing on where you are now or where you’ve been each time you have felt unsuccessful. What we focus on grows. We attract more of what we are focused on. So start focusing on what you want! Envision yourself being successful! Really FEEL how it will be when you’ve achieved what you desire and start taking action toward it! Take those emotions with you into each day!
Those are my 5 tips for “overcoming” the feeling of failure when you feel like you’re “starting over” and to help you in getting started “again.”
Let me know if you’re craving more on any one of these points. Also, tell me about a time when you’ve struggled with feeling this way and how you overcame it!