Is this holding you back?
Today, I want to have a personal chat about something that could be holding you back from manifesting the transformation you desire in your life…
Have you ever wondered why it is that you feel incredibly motivated toward a goal one day, so you get started on the path to change and achieving that goal, but a few short days or weeks later, you no longer seem to be giving it priority in your life? There are lots and lots of reasons that this could be possible, but here’s one thing I see often: EXCUSES. Now wait! Don’t get offended by that word. Behind those excuses are often feelings of lack or fear.
Am I right?
Did this possibly strike a chord for you?
Listen, I’m ALLLLLL about recognizing when we’ve perhaps made a goal that just isn’t right, whether it wasn’t right to begin with or just isn’t right anymore. I’m okay with shifting gears and letting ourselves off the hook for goals that no longer seem a priority. However, I can tell you that so often people tell me that they aren’t following through on their intentions, but the goal still remains a priority to them!
I certainly don’t want to come across sounding harsh or judgmental.
As a coach sometimes I have to get really honest with you. So here we go…
Achieving goals requires change. Change is often not easy. There will always be some hardships along the way. It’s how we approach those situations that matter. Do we get wrapped up in how hard it is and keep repeating the same or similar behaviors in response to the difficulties? Or do we expect to run into challenges, take them on with a “can do” attitude, and learn from each experience?
In the words of Albert Einstein,
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
We can’t expect results without change, especially in our thinking, which results in changes to our behaviors and actions as well.
So, let’s get back to those excuses…
If you’re struggling with reaching a goal, ask yourself:
- Am I giving myself permission to ignore my goal?
- Am I allowing less important (to me) things to have more priority than the goal I truly desire, especially when it seems easier or more desirable in the moment?
- Am I allowing myself to repeat the same behaviors without change? Without learning something?
- Am I making excuses for my behaviors?
- Do I believe I am capable and worthy of achieving my goal?
The key here is to simply identify that you’re permitting excuses. Once we identify them, it can be so much easier to move on from them.
As I mentioned, many excuses will have a thread of lack or fear in them. Popular excuses include a lack of time and money. Other common excuses include feelings of lacking confidence, worthiness, capabilities, etc. Excuses also often come from a feeling of deprivation, like sacrificing something now somehow means it will never be experienced again. Sometimes this can be true, but often it’s not the case at all. We often have to make the hard choices to sacrifice something now for the greater good that is to come.
And then there’s fear too. There certainly can be the fear of the sacrificial experience we were just discussing. There’s also often the fear of discomfort, fear of the unknown, fear of failing, fear of risks…. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Remember what Einstein said, “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking…” We don’t actually know what is going to happen. We do know, though, that we can create change and we are in control of the changes we choose to make (or let excuses get in the way of and not make).
The key is to start recognizing the excuses we are using on ourselves as a pass from going through the change, from getting a little uncomfortable! Don’t forget, it is in the discomfort that change happens. Our minds will do all they can to keep us from that discomfort. We must call those excuses out and take action to change, learn, and grow. Just feel the relief in knowing you don’t need to give yourself or anyone else these excuses anymore! Take a breath…and release…
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
― Tony Robbins
Tony is right, though I don’t think we always have to wait that long. Just contemplating our life in 3, 6, or 9 months or 1,3 or 5 years from now exactly the same as it is now may bring enough feelings of discomfort that it could propel us forward before we actually have to endure that pain.
Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Don’t just accept those excuses, PREVAIL!
Did this post strike a chord with you at all?
Do you have any excuses getting in the way of the changes you desire to manifest in your life?
Go back to your breath….in…..and out. How’s it feel?