Sometimes I struggle with how to say what I really want to say.
Although I think I do fine with grammar (my home school mom taught me well), when I have something to say, it often doesn’t come out quite the way I expected it to (oops, my mom wouldn’t like this sentence ending in a preposition, though…haha. Oh well, plenty more of these below too.). Does this happen to you too? Sometimes, I hear or read what someone else says on the very same topic and feel they have said it more eloquently or in a more impactful way. And then I remember, I need to just stop comparing, and accept ME for ME!
So, I may not always speak gracefully, but you can trust that I’m always trying to be my most authentic self. One thing that lights me up is teaching! It’s how I feel I can serve people best. I love passing on information that has helped me and I LOVE it when I see others benefiting from it! I LOVE seeing growth in other people! I guess this is, in part, why I ended up choosing to homeschool our children. I always said I didn’t want to be a homeschool mom and then….well, I became one. It brings me GREAT DELIGHT when I see my children desire to learn something and when they pick up on something we’ve been working on. This is also part of the reason why a recent decision to send our youngest to school (½ way through the school year at that) has been a really (really, really, really) hard one. But as I try to do with all situations, I’m trying to look at all the possible good that may come from this new arrangement.
Okay….I got off topic, but I’m just letting this post flow from my heart!
More than anything, I want to share my heart with you guys and I want to serve you! I hope you truly know that! I realized that maybe I haven’t been as vulnerable with you as I could be. What I crave is to connect with you! Not just “likes” on a social media photo or blog post reads, but to have “conversations” with you. When I tell you to email or message me, I mean that. When I ask you questions, it’s because I truly care to know. I really do! Not just the, “Hi! How are you?” but REALLY, “HOW ARE YOU?” And, honestly, just saying all of this brings me to tears as I write it. Why? I’m not sure except that my heart longs for deeper connection. How about you? I love being a part of, and helping to create, a community of like-minded people! It brings me incredible joy! And I hope to inspire more connection here in this upcoming year!
I started out with a totally different message I had intended to share. In fact, this was originally going to be an Instagram post, but I had a lot to say, and I guess this is the message that needed to come out.
I haven’t shared much here about how having Chronic Immune Response Syndrome (CIRS) has impacted my (social) life (see part 1 of my story here and part 2 here). Partly because I don’t want it to sound like I’m complaining or looking for sympathy. Nor is it what I choose to put my focus on. Everybody’s journey with CIRS is different. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t even know if I have CIRS anymore, but I don’t BELIEVE I do. (This is sort of where my other post was going to go and I’ll share that soon.) However, given where I’m at in my journey, I still feel the need to practice very strict mold avoidance.
Mold is everywhere, you guys! More than 50% of all buildings (it is believed this stat is very low compared to the actual numbers) are water damaged, which means they may not be safe for someone with CIRS. So, because my body doesn’t give me a strong indicator immediately upon exposure (my reactions tend to be more delayed), I choose to avoid other peoples’ homes and most buildings. This is also the advice I’ve received from my doctors. One day I hope to be able to be more flexible with this, but for now it’s an important part of my journey so as to keep forward progress in my healing. It also means that we’ve had to set up careful practices at our home to ensure it stays a safe and healthy place for me.
All of this means it can be quite isolating for me. It’s not a choice I’ve made lightly. And, of course, it not only impacts me, but all of my family in certain ways as well. Thankfully, I’m part introvert who actually likes to be at home often because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to take it at all. During the winter, especially when we have long strings of weather below zero or even in the single-digits, it really can begin to feel stifling. During the spring, summer, and early fall, however, I can spend LOTS of time outside and gather with friends and family much more easily.
I tell you all of this, though, to emphasize how much I appreciate each and every one of you who has become a part of my “tribe” and for letting me be a part of yours! I thoroughly look forward to even deeper connections this year. So, I’ll make a deal…I’m going to be sharing more of my heart here with you and getting more vulnerable. Will you promise to connect with me more too, through your comments, messages, and/or my services?
Part of what inspired today’s message was this…
I came across this post on Facebook that one of my friends’ had shared from Mastin Kipp:
Take a screenshot while it’s playing to reveal what you will manifest in 2018!
Okay, what did YOU get? Share in the comments below!
Please realize, this is only for fun, but that you can manifest any of these things if you truly believe you can and desire to do so!
Here are my results:
At first, I thought, “That’s cool.” But, honestly, I didn’t think much about it. A little later, as I came back to it, though, I thought to myself, “You know, I already have a great, strong support system.” And I do! But then in a very overwhelming way, I realized how much more community I want to build! Not to just be MY support system, but so we can all be there for one another! I’ve known this for some time, but in my contemplation over the past couple of weeks about my desires for the New Year, I’ve realized how MUCH I really want that. I NEED it and I think others do too! Of course, the connections we can make face to face are super important. As I don’t necessarily have numerous opportunities for those at all times of the year, though, I’ve realized how very incredible even virtual connections can become! I know they have been for me!
So, post what “you’ll manifest this year” according to the image above, and then share with us one way in which you desire it to unfold for you!
I want to get to know you better, and I hope you feel the same!
Thank you, friends!