An Alternative to Traditional New Year’s Resolutions

Thriving with Deanna / Mindset  / An Alternative to Traditional New Year’s Resolutions

An Alternative to Traditional New Year’s Resolutions

If you’re starting off the New Year with a bunch of resolutions and a boot camp-style mission to “get back on track,” “get healthy,” “get in shape,” or reach any other type of goal, health-related or not, I want to ask you to hit the pause button for a minute.


Breathe in; breathe out.


No, seriously!  Breathe with me for a minute.


Okay, now let’s chat…


Some people do great with resolutions, and it likely depends on your personality- more specifically your Tendency.  As in Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies.  You know- the framework I’ve talked about several times now.  Check out this post and this post to read more of what I’ve got to say about the Four Tendencies and to get the link to Gretchen’s quiz.  So, I’d say, especially if we look at the size of each group in the Four Tendencies, significantly more than 1/2 of the population has a strong likelihood of “failing” at their resolutions.  In fact, the stat I’ve read is that about only 8% achieve their resolutions.


I don’t say any of this to be discouraging,  but more to encourage you!  Heck, if its NOT JUST YOU, it feels a little better, doesn’t it?!  But what is the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, like we often do with resolutions.


So, my first tip: KNOW YOURSELF BETTER!


Take the quiz and find out what Tendency you are.  Honestly, this step is likely to be a GIANT GAME CHANGER.  However, knowledge isn’t transformation.  Just knowing your Tendency won’t change much, unless you take new action to SUPPORT yourself accordinglyConsider hiring a health coach to support you in the best way for your Tendency.  I don’t just say that because I’m health coach looking for business.  I say it because as I discussed, here,  a health coach may be the missing link in your goal achievement – no matter your goals!




This is actually the motto of one of my favorite yogi’s, Adriene, at Yoga with Adriene.**  Yet, its not really where I got it from.  It’s just that as a coach who has helped many people on their journeys, but even more so as someone who has been on my very own journey, bringing it to back to WHAT FEELS GOOD has been CRUCIAL!  I’ve talked about this over and over in numerous contexts on the blog already.  For example, here and here, when I talked about an intuitive approach; and, here, in the 2nd post of my Vibrant Life Mini-series, as well as some in the 3rd post.  Additionally, I talked about the Happy & Healthy approach in this post.


**(As a side note, if you want to get to know yourself better, yoga can be a great way to do that and Adriene runs a free month-long yoga group each January.  This year its called TRUE – 3o Day Yoga Journey.  Go check it out!  I have zero affiliation.  I’m just sharing something I enjoy!) 


The boot-camp approach I mentioned at the beginning of this post doesn’t leave much room for finding what feels good.  In fact, that approach kind of forces you to look past the “pain” and emotions and JUST DO IT!  Unfortunately, I’ve personally experienced where this can lead, and it’s not a fun place to be.  Read more about my story here (part 1) and here (part 2).


So, I just ask that you slow it down and get in touch with your curious sideAsk some questions about what it is you REALLY want and why!  Use my Vibrant Life Mini-Series as a guide if you wish: Desire + Learn + Trust + Nourish = VIBRANT LIFE.  Perhaps consider giving this New Year a theme as well.  What is the over-arching way in which you desire to grow, change, or perform?  Could it be summed up with: Explore, Say Yes, Say No, Accept, Create, Patience, Kindness, etc.?  Ponder a theme that resonates with you and consider letting that theme push you, pull you, and transform you.


Another idea I’ve heard about in several places this year is to write yourself a letter as if it’s the END of this New Year.  Act as if you are reminiscing about how the year went for you.  You might be really surprised about what trends pop up from this experience that you want to allow to take the lead in your goal-setting for the year that you wouldn’t have otherwise thought of, or that perhaps would’ve brought you anxiety when trying to plan for them.  However, looking back upon them as if your dreams have already been achieved is likely to bring you a different kind of peace about it.  You know how they say hindsight is always 20/20?  It’s almost like this method allows you a little hindsight.


Ahhh!  {peaceful, happy sigh}


Doesn’t that feel so much better?

Really!  Much less whipping yourself into “shape” to make something happen.

Less forcing and anxiety.  More allowing.  More surrendering. 

More following your intuition. 

More YOU being YOU because YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!

Deanna Wilcox

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